So you’ve got this idea of yours….this dream you’ve been carrying around forever, the one that means everything to you…. And maybe you’ll finally muster up the courage to share it with a few close friends…. You’ll do this although you’re secretly scared to death of what they will think because it means SO much to you, but what could be the harm in sharing it with the people closest to you, right? Of COURSE they will love it!!
In an ideal world, your friends and family will be the very first people in line to support you, they will applaud your courage, they will buy piles of your products, tell everybody they know about your new endeavor, and they will be there unconditionally to celebrate right along with you….or maybe they won’t.
People are tricky and they each have their own reasons for doing things….reasons that have nothing to do with you or me. As I was getting ready to launch the new website for Flawed, I shared the link with a friend…I was so excited to actually be letting somebody see this (other than hubby) that I couldn’t sit still. I sent the link and got ready for her to be as excited as I was about my new adventure. The response I got back was less than lukewarm and for a moment I was ALMOST shattered. But then I realized that I was actually glad she responded that way because it reminded me of why this endeavor is so important.
I’ve spent a vast part of my life allowing people to judge me, allowing their opinions to change the way I see myself or my work. I let them alter my perception of myself and gave them free reign to take away my thunder. I have been sad about it, angry, let down, disappointed, heartbroken and myriad of other adjectives that all lead back to me being generally just REALLY REALLY mad.
Then I asked myself why it mattered so much; could it be that I pride myself on being there to unconditionally support friends and family so much that when I don’t get that same response back, it hurts? Most assuredly, YES. But the thing is, the truth is that we don’t get to decide how people respond to us. We can put our faith in them and hope that they do and say the right thing, but how they support or NOT support us is just not our choice to make. I would like my mom to tell people what I really do for a living instead of always telling them that I am in the fashion industry, which I left about 12 years ago. I don’t know why she won’t tell people I am an artist, or that I have a store in my garage, or a fabulous network that I started from scratch, but for some bizarre reason she won’t and today I finally understand that there isn’t a thing I can do about it.
You and I have dreams and ideas and things that we want to share with the world and sometimes people will like them and sometimes they won’t. Sometimes you will get a glowing review and sometimes it will be less than stellar. But that does not mean you quit, it does not mean you allow someone else’s assessment of who they believe you are be your truth. It means you stand up a little taller, you have faith in yourself and as long as you are not planning to abandon your family in order to run off and live in a shack in the woods, you go enthusiastically forward.
People have their own agendas…they have their own history, their own baggage, their own crap…. The key is to remember that it’s theirs and has nothing…not one thing to do with you. In a perfect world we would all support each other without questions. We would be thrilled to see the woman next to us living her dream and we would applaud her courage. But this is not a perfect world, in fact, it’s quite flawed ( and its far more fun that way), and we are merely human beings doing our best to live our own version of what OUR dream looks like. Today you can choose to let other people’s opinions get in your way or you can pull those shoulders back, stand firm and be SO incredibly proud that you move right past any less than rave reviews.
You deserve to walk towards bliss and be amazed by the steps forward that you take….you deserve every happiness you can dream of and if the people around you don’t want that for you, or they can’t see past their own “stuff” long enough to want to lift you up then maybe it’s time to go in search of new people.
I wish nothing but an ever-expanding support system for you, but sometimes it’s you, just a fabulous party of one, and that has to be okay too! You go out there and continue to intentionally support those around you and when you least expect it, I promise you, PROMISE you that eventually you will get the same thing in return. It may come from the last place you would ever look, but rest assured, it’s coming. Until then, keep walking forward….your path is your own and if somebody else doesn’t want to celebrate it with you, that’s got to be okay too and you just keep walking tall lovely girl!!
Today is such an amazing day….and if somebody shows up and gets in the way of your sunshine, you give them a hug, thank them for being who they are and just keep walking because you never know what sort of fabulous new person could be waiting just around the corner!
Wishing you nothing but bliss amidst piles of chocolate!
Heather
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