I’ll be completely honest with you; I have the patience of a gnat….So when I create something new and get no response within the first five minutes I immediately begin to doubt myself…. That little voice, the one I told you about in an earlier post; NOna, rears her ugly little head and almost instantly I start hearing, “you don’t know what you’re talking about, nobody cares, you’re talking to yourself, nobody is listening….GET A JOB.” It’s the same story every single time, no instant gratification = compete and total failure….
Yesterday was one of those days….tiny little meltdowns that culminated around dinner time with me deciding that I had made a big mistake; people don’t want to hear about their flaws and celebrate them… So sometime around dinner I had decided that this was just a stupid idea that flopped before it ever got off the ground, I was cranky, mad, sad, and myriad of other self-sabotaging adjectives… I tossed and turned most of the night lamenting over how I was going to tell my husband that all the money we had just spent on a trademark was just plain stupid and it was time for me to get a job at Taco Bell where I could at least get a discount on comfort food…
Then I woke up this morning and there in my in box was a teeny tiny little miracle…a very short comment on my blog from a writer (thank you Joy) that simply said she was interested in featuring my blog in a newspaper. WHAT? I read it about fifteen times and all I could think to myself was “I thought nobody was reading this.” I believed that besides a dear friend of mine and my poor husband who out of love for me HAS to read it nobody was even looking at my ramblings. I’m sure you can only imagine that while I am crazy-over-the-moon about this blog being in a newspaper, the idea that someone was actually seeing it, well that just about blew me right out of my chair….
Here I was, the wildly impatient girl thinking that I had failed before I even got started and then I find out that the Universe just might see things a little differently, and perhaps is running on a different schedule than I am.
Maybe you’re just like me (though let’s pray for your sake that you’re not), you had this BIG idea, the one you are so passionate about, the one that you just HAVE to share with the world because it means THAT much….you launch your dream and as you are waiting for the glowing reviews, as you are sitting and watching your inbox for the piles of orders that you KNOW are coming, you are instead met with that God awful sound of crickets….dead silence. Nobody is applauding, nobody is ordering and you are sitting there ready to jump out the window.
But what if…..what if any minute something amazing is about to happen? What if tomorrow or the next day your audience finally finds that trail of bread crumbs you left for them and slowly but surely they begin to find their way to you? What if you had talked yourself into quitting before you ever even gave it a chance and just before the orders started piling up you shut the doors, pulled the plug and went back to bed?
The funny thing about dreams is that if you’re not terrified, if you’re not questioning yourself and fearing that maybe your IT won’t work then you probably aren’t really putting as much of yourself into it as you thought. Dreams are personal, they are YOU out there for the whole world to see and yes, even be judged….but that’s life my friend. If you’re a functioning human being then of course there will be doubt….of course Nona will be there with her big black flag and her nasty voice and her road blocks, and yes, even her crickets….but what matters most is what you choose to do about it. How important is it to you? What are you willing to risk in order to have your slice of the big beautiful Happiness Pie?
For me, well I’m working my butt off to slowly get to a place where the possibility of the amazing things that COULD happen is more important than the immediate outcome. I am crawling at a snail’s pace to get there, but I am moving forward…and so can you. You are this bright, shiny, perfectly imperfect woman with a dream and I promise you that your bliss is coming but you’ve got to intentionally leave the light on so that it can find you. You’ve got to keep going forward in spite of that nasty Nona, you’ve got to force yourself to push on regardless of the fact that today might not have been your best day because there is a very good chance that tomorrow can be PHENOMINAL.
You and I….well we have fabulous lives to live and whether you constantly believe it or not I promise you that you are worthy of every glimmer of hope that you had when you began your journey. The road is bumpy and there might very be obstacles around every turn….but you CAN push through, you have what you need to make it happen…but the choice is yours. Choose bliss or get yourself a fabulous polyester uniform and go get a job at Taco Bell. (turns out I won’t be joining you there after all….) Go after the dream or spend the rest of your life wondering what might have been…..it’s completely up to you but I’m thinking bliss trumps regret every time!
Today is a FABULOUS day, a perfect day to invest in a pair of big girl pants, grab a shiny fork and give yourself permission to take a BIG JUICY bite out of your very own Happiness Pie! It’s fat free, incredibly satisfying and will leave you feeling full in the most delicious sort of way!
Wishing you the patience, courage and desire to truly believe in your dreams and the clear vision to see them through to fruition!
Endless blessings to you!