Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Wearing Shoes That Fit

I spend a lot of time day-dreaming.  I see my projects and goals for what they could look like when they are finished and how amazing I will feel when I finally set them free.  I imagine large crowds of people all lined to buy my wares and celebrate my message.
 Then the phone rings and I am back in the real world lamenting over my unusually LONG list of WHAT-Ifs….  Most of the time I convince myself that I am a psychic and already know what the outcome of something will be long before it ever sees the light of day…this “ability” of mine gives me everything I need to assume the worst and sit frighteningly still.  It keeps me safe from worry, protects me from nay-sayers and insures that I don’t get hurt….
But then this little voice creeps in and asks the loaded question; “what if you are wrong?”  DAMMIT!  That’s right!  It turns out that I am not in fact psychic….I have NO way of knowing WHAT the outcome will look like and to keep it tucked away in a safe little box just might be a little foolish and self-serving.   Oh but it’s so much more comfortable here in Safety Town.  I run no risk of being rejected….nobody can judge me, and I can stay so cozy and warm right here under this rock.
The funny thing about dreams is that in my warped little mind, I have often talked myself into believing that it’s far more exciting to keep them close to the heart instead of giving them life and potentially risking a less than fabulous outcome.  This has been a pattern for most of my life; in order to keep the dream alive and pretty I just don’t share it.
Today I asked myself a different sort of question; what do I risk if I don’t claim my dream?  What happiness will have eluded me just so I could stay comfortable?   Now there’s something to really thing about….the big scary elephant in the room that begs to know what I will have potentially sacrificed if I just don’t do a thing.
Sometimes I look around me and become acutely aware of the people that came before me and never bothered to go in search of their own dreams.  They have a certain look about them that is one part longing, one part melancholy, a tiny sprinkling of bitterness and a whole lot of regret.  I don’t want to be that person.  I don’t want my story to start off with “She had so much potential…..”
You and I deserve our own slice of the Happiness pie.  We deserve big fat bites of bliss layered with spoonfuls of laughter and a zest for life that has the power to take us to the moon and beyond.  We deserve to finally put on fabulous shoes that actually fit so that we don’t have to spend one more moment tripping over our own two feet.  We deserve to get out of our own way, get out of our own heads and give the world a chance to celebrate our dreams with us.  There is endless hope in possibility and if we intentionally hide who we are or what we want to be then aren’t we essentially slamming a BIG door shut before we ever tried to walk through it?  YES!
We can choose to wrap ourselves in a big scratchy blanket of fear and anticipation or we can stand up, toss it aside, let a little light in and decide to give our dreams a chance.  Twenty years from now when you are looking back on your life wouldn’t you rather be able to say “I tried it ALL” versus, “Well, I played it safe and look at me… bruises!”  Give me the bruises any day!  Give me the bumps and chips, scrapes and scratches so that when I am ninety years old I can gather all my friends at the Retirement home around the piano and tell them delicious tales of where each and every scar came from!  I will have billowy blue hair, a rainbow colored cape and if all goes as planned I will be exhausted from having LIVED every moment of my life.
Wishing you the freedom to LIVE your life as big and colorful as you could ever dream it can be!


  1. Loving your posts. I smiled when you talked about the retirement home. You can tell your stories while I'm in on the other side of the room in my wheel chair I designed........The Stimulator!!!

  2. Only if I can get daily rides on it...wait, nevermind, that's one chair that shouldn't be shared....hahahahahha xo